I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I think my fart just growled at me.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
