you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
