so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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