i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize