I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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