In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
