I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
