If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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