last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
We have started to decorate penises.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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