he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Are my feet made of real feet?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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