sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
hotel room ftw
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
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