matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
