M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
