Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
