filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
