she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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