yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
