I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
