RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
