Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize