Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
