well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
