How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
