Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
