Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
