She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
