You work out of a Hotel?
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
