did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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