you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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