I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Your topless pictures make me question reality
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
