Can Purell be used as lube?
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize