I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
