this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
