Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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