He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
