What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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