Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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