I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
