Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
