Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
