I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
