I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
