worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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