the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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