Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
