Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
