is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
