He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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