you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
