Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
