using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
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