He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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