Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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