Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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