listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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