I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
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