I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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