why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
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