she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
