Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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