Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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