Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
