I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
