Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
