Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
